Lousy prognosticator picks U.S. to win hockey gold

Canada's men's Olympic hockey team begins its quest for gold Feb. 12 vs. Czechia and, of course, this calls for a bold prediction: Canada will not win gold.

Now, before you go talking to government officials to get me kicked out of the country or to have my citizenship revoked, an explanation is required: In my career as a prognosticator of sporting events, my record is horrendous. I believe it's 3-672 over the years, which means I'm wrong 99.555 percent of the time. If I were to be so bold as to pick Canada to win, and they lost, the blame would fall squarely on my shoulders and, deep down, I want nothing more than for Canada's best to stick it to the rest of world, especially those loud-mouth Americans who were vanquished in last winter's 4 Nations Face Off.